Soenke is sounded HOT when he spoke German! OMG OMG OMG!

Knocking off soon! Yipeee! I need my bed. I'm dying of pain PLUS! it's sooooooooooo cold here can? OMG OMG OMG! My tummy.. it's aching like mad.

)'=

I despise it when I have my monthly visitor.. RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'm dying of pain. My tummy is like always exploding but nothing is happening. I can't explain the feeling. I feel weak, I feel like dying. I feel like sleeping. I feel like crying. I feel like doing everything except doing something. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DON'T WANNA BE A LADY ANYMORE! I wish I was a guy. Circumcise and that's it.

La la la.. I wanna sleep. I wanna go home!!!!! I WANNA LIE ON MY BED!!!

BYE!

Mood swings on the go!

Ola! I just came back from Hawaii, NOT!

Hahaha!

I was too caught up with work. I'm so busy. Ok, I'll be here for awhile only. Just wanna say HI! HEHE.

See ya everyone..

See I told ya, I'm gonna be fast here. (:

muacks.

PS to someone

Don't be too tight on yourself. Open up! Cheer up and don't think everyone dislikes you.. La la la la la la...

So.. I was sleeping when a Private number called me.. I didn't know it was not only because it was private number but because I know too many people who has private number! Then I remembered Ate Carol's employer was supposed to call me to tell me about the work. But it was my dear, VASANTHI! How I miss her! She said she was going to for SIP tomorrow and that I should meet up with her already. We didn't talk much because I was still sleeping. I was very very very sleepy despite of the time, 11am! Hahaha.

Then I went back to sleep.. 10 mins later, another Private number called me. GOSH~ I thought it was Ate Carol's employer again! Haha. So I clear my throat and said with as much poise, "Hello" Hahaha. Then it was Ghij! Hahaha. When I knew it was her, I went back to my usual sleepy voice. Then she was like, "Nikki, are you still sleeping?" HAHA! I said yes. Then she told me she has a work for me. Her work place is in need of a receptionist and admin. Then I said ok.. Haha but.. It was still not confirmed because she messaged Victoria first before she called me. So she was waiting for her response. But Ghij asked me to stand by in case Victoria doesn't reply. Somehow, I felt that I wish that Victoria wouldn't call Ghij back. But on the other hand, I didn't mind not working at all because I have an agreement with my parents. I'm going to tuition Christopher. So I was cool.. I just told God, let His will be done.. I didn't mind either results at all.

Then.. half an hour ago.. Ghij called me again and told me that.. Victoria hasn't called her back so she's just giving my name to her boss. Guess when I'll start work? TOMORROW, 830am! OMG! I have this mixture feelings! I'm happy, excited, lazy, bored, sad and etc. Sad because I won't be able to go early to my class chalet which is TOMORROW - FRI! OMG! I can't even stay over! I wanna stay over! But I can't. Gosh.. I bet Kaye will kill me and slaughter me. Then I won't be able to live anymore. I'll just die in her small palms! OPPS! :x You know I know you love me. And I know you know I love you! Love ya KCheng!

Ok.. So I have work now.. I seriously didn't plan to work. Yes, I looked for work.. for 2 days! ONLINE! I sent my resume.. But after that, I realised that I was too lazy to work. Hahaha. I just wanted to stay and home and watch movies everyday! So I had an idea of giving Christopher tuition and tell my parents that they should gimme more money! HAHAHA! I'm sooooooooo BOLD! Yea, that's what I think it should be though I know I use my parents' money to get an education too! Haha.

I guess whatever we plan doesn't really go the way we want it. I'm nervous now. Haha. Thank God Ghij will be there for me.. So imagine.. For next month, I'll see Ghij, 7days a week! Hahahaha! Ahhhhhhh! I wish she was still the one giving me BS so she can give me BS everyday. HAHA! Then Ghij would be like.. "Join Bible School la.." With tha kinda tone.. Haha. OH NO! I just realised!! I need to go for practices! OH NO OH NO! HOW??? Gosh, it's gonna be a hassle for them. OMG! I don't wanna be the reason for any changes of the sched now.. But I think I will be, if they are going to change the schedule! OH NO! God, You take over and make a way.. I trust You!

Ok, I gtg now. Some Private Number is calling me again.. Guess it's Ghij.

Happy 26th Birthday, Ate Lanie! I love you. Though you don't read my blog, I still wanna wish you here. I hope I could spend your special day with you. I MISS YOU VERY MUCH! I miss those days when we were really young. Krisnel, our other cousins and I would stay over your place and sleep really late. Remember those days when we celebrate Christmas and New Year? I'll never forget my days in the Philippines. I'll never forget the precious and special moments we've shared together. Though we were really young back then, it's all stored in my mind. I miss you very very much! OMG! I remember, we even played wrestling and I pulled your hair soooooooo hard, you cried and told Lola! HAHA! Goshhhhh.. I miss being sooooooo young and free again!

I miss YOU! I wish I could see you every year! I love you my dear Ate! muacks!

Labels: [Deep inside, my heart is soooo] confuse! [THANKS to you la! ): ]

AHHHHH!!!! I think.. I think.... I think......

I DON'T WANT TO THINK ANYMORE! I wanna run away from this feeling but.. isn't that lying to myself and just ignoring the situation? But how can I face such a situation? I CAN'T! It's just.. impossible, FOR ME! But like what Nick said today.. Remove the I [a]M and it will become POSSIBLE!! Lord, I wanna be so more more more sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I need to be more more more sensitive! God, GUIDE ME! I don't want to be.. arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh! I wish I can just say it out here. Fine, I'll make another post and it'll be private! Haha.

Gosh, I'm listening to a very very very sad song! MYMP - Only reminds me of you

Anyways, tomorrow PRACTICE! ROAR!! 10AM OK! OMG! I could faint! Gosh. Who wakes up at 830am on holidays??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! OMG! I think I'll just faint.

I gottago now. I need to sleep! Gosh, I haven't been having enough sleep! Haha, even though I sleep for 8 hrs a day! 5am-1pm, Beat that!

Hey hey...!

Sentosa was really fun! I had fun with my friends.. YEY! Thanks Desiree, Nigel and Melvin for joining us! It won't be complete if you guys were not there! Love ya guys.. (:

***

Guess what I did today? I cleaned my room after I-don't-know-how-many-weeks! Haha. I'm such a good girl *pats back* Hehe.

URGH! I don't know what to blog about again! Gosh..

OH YA! The TP singers performance *ehemimoneofthemehem* is pushed forward to 7th November instead of 30 November! I don't know whether to be sad or happy.. I pray that it won't affect my time table. We'll be block learning next semester and I really don't wanna miss any lessons. AND! My Swee will be in the midst of O levels fever.. Special mention, eh? Hehe. I'll be sad if she have any paper on that day! AND! I think the primary and secondary school students will still have school on that day. I'll be really sad if no one comes from my cg and worse my classmates! I don't want to perform for random audience! I want my brothers and friends to be there! Haha. It'll be soooooooooooooooo upsetting if I perform to people who are the least special to me. But let Your will be done. You're my BEST audience! I'll sing for You. You're my HERO! I thought of that song to sing because I want to dedicate to You! (: I Love You!


Mariah Carey - Hero Lyrics

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

[Chorus:]
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

[Chorus]

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Just hold on
There will be tomorrow
And in time
You'll find the way

[Chorus]

***

How do you break a wall that has been building up since like what? 10 years ago? Hard work is compulsory. Persevere. LOVE! Patience.. I cry when you do this to us. I feel so hurt and really down. We're your own *sensored* but why must you treat us this way? Don't you feel ANYTHING? Is your heart really numb? Or are you just dumb? Pinch yourself when you treat us this way! I love you but I hate you at the same time. Hate is such a deep word but I am using it to express my feelings for you.

I try to love you more than I hate you. But everytime I do that, you push the button and make me hate you again. I love you very much. I always forgive you. But that shouldn't be the way. We shouldn't just always give in to you. We have to give and take. I'm only a human being and I make mistakes too. Please remember that YOU ARE ALSO A HUMAN BEING! You're NOT PERFECT!

I'm crying as I type those words.. I really love you. I really do. I love you more than you ever know. More than I show it to you. You're so special to me. You're my only *yourname*. No one can replace you. I really pray that you'd become the best you can. Just ONE! ONE you! Not many. I love you.. I hope you love me as much as I love you...

***

On the lighter note, Angelo and Tita Sherly are not here in Singapore yet! My mom was about to leave when my uncle called and said that his car's tyre got punctured and that he couldn't send Angelo and Tita to JB! I was soooooooooo excited then.. I guess I have to stay excited till next week. Hehe. Here are some photos we took when they reached Singapore on 29th Sept from the Philippines! (:






Nights~

I'm too lazy to blog because I'm very busy! WITH WHAT?? With movies la! I've been watching sooooo Tagalog movies. Hehe. I just loooooooooooove HOLIDAYS!

Yesterday, I slept at 5.30am. WHY? Because I watched 2 tagalog movies and I watched the 2nd one 2 times! HAHAHA! It's just super nice ok.. I had to watch it 2 times..

I just came home from Harbourfront. I met Erika and Heather! Yippppeeeeeeeee! Photos to be updated real soon! XD Sorry for keep delaying. I know my cg members wants to see the emerge photo real ASAP. Ok ok.. I'll post it before sunday!

I have so many photos to be uploaded but I'm just too engrossed with Tagalog movies. haha..

SENTOSA HERE I COME!

Movie is calling...

I was away .. far far away.. No.. not so far away! Hehehe.

I went to Kuala Lumpur. for KL EMERGE! Personally, I think it should be called Selangor Emerge because it's in Selangor. Like, 1.5hrs ride from KL?

I have lotsa photos BUT! I need to sleep already. It's TOO EARLY to post the photos la.. Hahaha. It's just going to be a quick update.

CONGRATULATIONS, my papa! I'm so proud of you! I love you!

I'll try to post the photos tomorrow. I mean, later! Hehe. Before I even owe more photos! Haha.

Kinda busy week ahead! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT???!! Yea!


Tues - MY FAVE DAY! I'm meeting my girls! Erika, Heather, Zarah [and probably Jocelyn]!!

Wed - AMAZING RACE!!! Yiiiipeeeeeeeeeee! Can't wait to have fun with e316 and new friends! Oh and Swee? Our date! Hehehe. You know... (; I miss you sooooooooooo much girl! We haven't been talking a lot..


And.. WHEN IS OUR CLASS CHALET?! ohhhhhhhhhh!!!! Hey KCheng! I've not paid you yet. Opppppssss! :x


***


I'm so sad! Why are there such people like you? My own *********************** [no, that's not how many letters the word have] and YOU'RE LIKE THAT TO **************** [same goes here]!!! You just BROKE MY HEART! I was or rather, I STILL AM hurt by what you're doing to *********************! I'm so disappointed in you.

Thank you Papa for encouraging me. I love you.

How would you like to have a dad who is a SOT graduate?! Heeeeee (:

Since my papa made my day when I was really down and frustrated, I'd post our photo together!



Ok I'm done here. ta~

Good night!