I had a kinda bad morning. I sorta quarrelled with my mom. When I got home, I received an email from her, saying that she was sorry for not being able to give me all the things that I want and need. Well, I know that I won't be able to get everything I want. But I just hope to get everything that I need.

I know my family is having financial problem. I know I can't do anything about but it just suck to the max. I try to understand my parents as much as possible. They are the ones working afterall. I know my parents' salary is more than 5K, for sure! But the problem is, my parents didn't work for almost a year! BOTH OF THEM! And they are still paying their debts. . .

On the way to cell group meeting, I was recalling how I talked to my mom and how I treated her. I was remorseful. I wanted to message her but you know that feeling like, you just don't wanna message and say sorry because she's not your friend? But I really wanted to. She messaged and I really wanted to reply. Actually, I typed out my reply message already saying I'm sorry too but I chose not to press the 'send' button. I thought of what would Jesus do if He was in my shoes. I asked myself why didn't I ask Him to take over my problem. I took it in my own knowledge and ended up, hurting my mom. Actually, I guess I hurt my dad too. For sure, my mom told my dad about it.

I don't know how to face my parents tomorrow. I don't know how to face God. Why am I sure a mean child? Whenever I'm angry, I'll just shout and say nasty things. Actually, I say the fact but sometimes, you need not say the fact because it'll just hurt some people involved. When my parents tell me off, I'll just answer back and walk off after telling them what I feel. I feel so insensitive, so stubborn and so direct. I just say whatever I think and feel without thinking of what that person I'm talking to might feel. Yes, it's true that I don't think of it. Most of the time, I'll just shoot and regret later.

Sometimes, when I tell my friends stories like, "You know I talked to this person, this and that, then I said this...'fact bla bla'"

Then, my friend[s] would be like, "REALLY? You said that? Bla bla bla.."

I'd be like, "HUH? You mean what I said might have hurt that person?"

Friend[s]: "Duh?!"

Me: "OMG, I didn't know. But it's the fact what! *scratch head*"

Then I'd still think that, that person deserves it but somehow regret it. And feel sorry for that person.

I still remember when my friend's mom borrowed $250 from me. She told me she was going to give me back two weeks later. Two weeks later, she asked me to give her another two weeks. I said, OK, since I felt sorry for her. Two weeks later, she said the same thing and *TADDAAAAAA* What happened? I told her off! My friend, Michelle was there and that was like the very first time she saw me damn pissed. I told her that I had to get my money back and I don't care whatever reason that she was going to give me. All I want was my money. Of course, that wasn't the only thing I said. I said many more stuff then she just walked off! I was like still talking and she just left. IRRITATING OLD WOMAN! Waaaa~ then the next day can still have the cheek to tell me that she'd pay me the following day! With TEARS EFFECT SOME MORE!! Wanna act cry in front of me! She really act only ok? I got to know from our other colleagues who were also aunties. LOL. OMG, where did you work? Why so many aunties? I worked in a factory la! Hehehe. So ya, as I was saying.. THAT OLD WOMAN's habit is to borrow money from people. LOTS of money! With tear effect then, later she'll delay her payment everytime!

She's liar la ok? She told me her husband needs to be out of bail. Whatever shit! The next thing I know, SHE BOUGHT A LAPTOP FOR HER DAUGHTER AND WENT TO EAT SEAFOOD WITH HER FAMILY! Damn IRRITATING!

But guess what? My attitude changed already. A lot! LOL. Of course, there's still some essence of my stubborness and getting pissed quite easily but it's not as much as before la. I remember I told off one of my friend's mother. Coz she's damn irritating! Talk to her = vomitting blood [HIV positive blood. HAHA. kidding!]! Damn irritating! But I controlled my temper. Haha. I really did but alas! One of my friends saw my face and said, "I never saw you so angry before."

Me: "I controlled myself already! If I was still my oldself, I think you'd freak out."

I won't say why she pissed me off. All I know is that, she makes everyone vomit blood! That's her talent! STOP BEING MEAN, NELKRIS KATE!!!

I NEED to stop being mean! MEEKNESS, girl! Where's

your BEATITUDES?

Good night~

I'm really piss right now! I shall not name names here but once my friend reads this, you'll know it's about you.

I have a guy friend who is really broken hearted. He had a girlfriend for about two years or so. They were so loving. I still remember that my friend loved his gf soooooo much! Actually, he still loves her. They broke up last year. He said he made a promise that he'll wait for his ex. [Oh, his ex has a new bf already. Errrmmm, the next day they broke up, the ex got a new bf! How &$%#*@!!!!] To wait or not to wait. My heart goes out to him because he's really confuse. He loves the girl sooooooo much but this girl ... haaaay.

They still talk to each other. The ex sometimes talk to my friend about her new bf and their problem. RIDICULOUS! Isn't she heartless? I mean, HOW SELFISH IS THAT? Shut up la! The guy loves you so much and you're making things worse for him! I know he's still your friend but please, GROW UP! Be more mature! This guy is the guy who loves you the most! I think even more than your current bf. MOVE AWAY AND GIVE HIM SPACE TO MOVE ON! R-E-S-P-E-C-T, PLEASE! My friend don't want to know your problems anymore. I think you're intelligent enough to know that!

URGH! I just dislike this. How can a girl be so selfish? That's because it feels GREAT to know that there's someone loving you. Not only one but TWO! One IS yours another one WAS yours. But don't you have a conscience? URGGGGHHHHH!!!

To my friend: I hope you don't mind me blogging about this. I really feel sorry for you and hope that you'll live happily soon. The time will come when the RIGHT ONE will come. A lot of times, we'll fall. We'll love someone soooo much but in the end, we'll just fall flat and our heart will be scattered to gazillion pieces. Change your mindset. It's been more than half a year. I'm sure it's gonna be easier for you to let go then move on. Don't care about the promise that you made. Why must you care when she don't care? She's not the only girl out there. There's millions of them, I mean us but I'm not included in this topic la. LOL! HAHAHA! So, keep your heart open. If you still wait and someone knocks on your door, will you not open it? What if the next one to knock is going to take a few years? So yea, move on! You waited too long already. Even if you're still meant to be in the end, you will cross your paths again as in, fall in love again. But for now, move on and be happy. You can't be like this miserable forever. You can do it! Oh btw, I hope you don't mind me telling her off. It's just stupid of her to do this to you. Sorry to say that but that's why I really feel.

Aheeheehee..

I've got ANOTHER NEW SKIN! lol. Like, I'm so free ah? I feel that thursday is the last day of school of the week. HAHA. When I was on the way to school, I was kinda scared of what my day would be. I hate the feeling of dying to sleep but you can't do anything but tahan the painful torture.Haha, ya I know I might sound exaggerating but it's true. Do you like the feeling of dying to sleep but can't sleep at all coz you're in class? 4 hours of IN3d & 4 hours of INMM. What on earth?

Oh ya, do you know that Live The Dream talent show? My brothers asked me to join! LOL! Then I was like, " Do you think I'm old?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!" Then they were like, "What you talking?" "IT'S ONLY FOR 25 AND ABOVE OK?????" URGH! I never wanna get older. Boooooooo..

And this age topic reminds me of that Douglas! OMG! He asked how old I am in class!! OMG OMG OMG! And that VERY BIG MOUTH Shawn Dominic Loh told him my SECRET age! If only I had a knife, maybe I'd be in court now! Both of them are so irritating lor! One asks my age, another VERY BIG MOUTH guy tells my age! What a 'conversation'.

OMG. Am I really at that age where age is a BIG DEAL and a rude question to ask? HAHA. Ok, never mind. To people who knows my SECRET age, please keep it to yourself. You won't gain anything by telling the whole world but you'll lose me instead. Haha. Kidding la! But I just don't want my age to be known.

Hmmmm, I wish everyday is FRIDAY! Because, I finish school at 11am. Haha. Actually, supposed to finish at 12 but after the video, we can go home. HOW WONDERFUL!

I gottago now. I need to catch up on my sleep. I know I woke up late on wednesday but please..... that's the only day that I woke up late. On saturdays, I need to be in the west before 11am. And like, I stay in the EAST!

Oh ya, my class started at 8am today and I woke up at 7.05am! OMG! I forgot to alarm my clock! I panicked when I saw the clock in my room. Don't be gross ok? I bathe first la! I'll never leave my house without bathing! Thank God, the bus came at 7.45am and I reached school at 8.05am. So fast right? That's cause it was still early and the bus was not packed at all. There was no traffic jam too. I dislike Kaki Bukit and Jln Eunos during peak hours! It's only like 4 bus stops away from Eunos to Kaki Bukit but when it's peak hours, it can take like, 10-15mins! IRRITATING! That's why MUST always get a seat fast. Hehe. I know la, kiasu la. But it's very tiring to stand up and feel the person's butt behind you! It's annoying!

Indeed, when you walk spiritually, your mindset is sooooo changed for the better. Thank You, Lord for the change of mindset. I know some people who..... hehe. I know la, I'm also very mean! Now I miss Swee so much! Coz we're the partners in 'mean' crime. Hehe. I wanna talk to you la, Swee!

Ok fine, I'll leave now. Bye.

Don't try so hard to gain people's attention. You'll get their attention with negative reactions.

I had an entry before this but I decided to delete it. Hahahaha.

[Monday, 21 May 07]

I went to gym with my dear Karen and Ate Marge. We went to Fitness First at Paragon. Very tiring but it was really great to workout again. And not forgetting the favourite part of mine, sauna!

[Tuesday, 22 May 07]

What did I do here? Hmmmmmm. I forgot. I think I just went to school and ohhh.. hmmmmm? I really forgot.

[Wednesday, 23 May 07]

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO MY ERIKA & SANTY!! My precious gifts from above. Yea, both of them are 18. Cool eh? But they don't know each other. Hehe. Oh and also to my classmate Alaric Yeo, HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO YOU as well!! Wow, isn't that cool? I know 3 people who shares the same birthDATE! I know 4 people who shares the same birthday with me. Ian [my brother], Arnel, Tito James and my mom's friend [I forgot her name]. Isn't cool to share the same birthday with people? It's like, so special. But no, I don't feel special on my birthday. I just think it's just another day.. Hmmmm. Oh ya, I went for the graduation ceremony. NO! I've not graduated, yet! Hehe. Went home at 6+ then reached home before 7pm.

[Thursday, 24 May 07]

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY TO JANET! Birthdays after birthdays. How great is that? I had BS with GJ, Ian, M & M. God is soooooooo good all the time. And all the time, God is soooooooooo good!

JORDIN SPARKS is the new American Idol. And some parts of her new song sounds like "How great is our God". Haha. Really! I was even singing that song when she was singing her song. Hehe. Truly oh Lord, You're great!

My flesh was telling me not to even touch Your word but my spirit was hungry for Your word. I persevered and suddenly, You spoke to me. When I read Your word, Luke 15:4-7:

4. "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he looses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?
5. And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
6. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbours, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'
7. I say to you that likewise,there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance."

Just how amazing can You get, my God? You really have Your ways to draw me back to You. I love You so much, Lord! You're the only reason why I can still get up everyday and continue living with my life. You're the one I'm living for, God. I really wanna make a difference, God. Tell me what to do, Lord. One word and I'll follow. Use me again.

I love You. You're my everything.

New skin. Don't know what's up with my previous skin.

I've got many things to say but no time.

Loves.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step... and I want to start it with You. Of course, I want You to be with me with every step that I take.

I miss You so much! I keep telling You that I miss You but I don't know why I can't let go of the past. Help me!

Cleanse my very deceitful heart with Your most precious blood. I'm sorry I keep disappointing You.

It doesn't matter if others are disappointed in me. All I want to please is You. Forgive me. Love me like before. How could I fall so hard when I was soooooo into You? I fell, flat faced. *ouch* And I regret not listening to You. But no, I won't go away. I'll get up and follow You. Because I know that You're still the one I'll end up with. I don't want to screw up my life because of my selfishness and pride...

You're all that I need, my Lord.

"He misses you. Come back to Him. You have nowhere to go but Him."

Have you ever felt there's two people in you? One really wants you to let it go. Another wants you to hold on.

Which one would you
choose?

I have nowhere to go but to You, my Lord, my first love. I know I'll still fall back on You.

Weeeeeeeeeeeee~

I just came back from cell group meeting. Despite the looooooooooooong hours in school, I still went for cell group and I don't regret a thing! Lord, I really never want to leave your side. I love You so much. How could You wait on someone like me? I feel so filthy and so ashamed of myself but You still welcome me with open arms. I really love You! You're so amazing! The sermon was soooo good. Bro Edmund preached and he's funny. I think it's only the 2nd time or 3rd time I heard him preach. Coz when I joined the cell group, Lucas was the one who preached already thought he wasn't the leader yet.

Anyways, I'm really sooooo happy to see quite a few of my cell group members. Talking to them just makes me smile. I love them so much. SWEE! You were not there and I'm telling you that I MISS YOU SO MUCH! We HAVE TO/MUST/NEED to talk to each other. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

Oh ya, today in school was not as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, Douglas talked and talked for like ONE HOUR!!! OMG OMG OMG! I was like getting giddy coz I was sooooooooooooooooo super sleepy! He talked so much la ok? Please la!! Andrew was not as bad as normal. Maybe he's not feeling well? I think he got soar throat. HEHEHEHE! He didn't talk much la. OMG, "This lab is the MOTHER of all IMPORTANT LABS." HAHAHAHAHAH! "Please come for lecture next week. Next week's lecture is very important..." HAHAHAHA. He always say the same thing can? *yawns*

God, tell me something! I wanna fast forward my life. Say, to day when I'm hmmmmmmm, a graduate? Married? Anything, as long as it's great. Ok never mind. I don't want. Hehe. As if I have a choice.

I'm happy today. (=

Good night!

Thurs is sooooooo fun, NOT!

I wish I can fast forward my day tomorrow. I wish I have the universal remote control Adam Sandler had in the movie, "Click".

I wonder how many times that lecturer of mine will say, "Listen to me, what I'm about to say is very important!" Yada da da da.. HOW MANY TIMES DOES HE WANT TO SAY THAT IN ONE DAY? I think he don't say that in his APEL class only!

THURS = long day = tiring.

I'm gonna sleep now, I guess.

When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of mine

I look at you, lookin' at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
I'm gonna love you, boy you are so fine
Angel of Mine

How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now, you helped me grow

You came into my life sent from above
When I lost all hope you showed me love
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time
Angel of Mine

Nothing means more to me than what we share
No one in this whole world can ever compare
Last night the way you moved is still on my mind
Angel of Mine

What you mean to me you'll never know
Deep inside I need to show

You came into my life sent from above
When I lost all hope, you showed me love
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time
Angel of Mine

I never knew I could feel each moment
As if it were new
Every breath that I take, the love that we make
I only share it with you

When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of Mine

You came into my life sent from above
When I lost all hope you showed me love
I'm shakin' for ya, boy you're right on time
Angel of Mine

How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now, you helped me grow

I look at you lookin' at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time
Angel of Mine

-Angel of Mine. Monica.

I love this song. It's sooooooo nice. I love old songs..

I don't like the DBIS tutorial lecturer. She's so boring. She speaks so softly. Bluekz! Supposed to meet Lucas, Gj and Diana but I had to send my brothers to CHEC. They're gonna sing on emerge! Yippie! The children church is going to perform. Coolness. This is the first emerge that I'm gonna attend to. I don't know but I don't really feel as excited as the rest. hmmmm.. But I think it's gonna be soooo fun!

My spiritual level is getting so low. God, help me. I want my appetite back. I feel that I'm like Sahara desert spiritually. Oh my God, help me! I know I need You in my life. I know I have to have you in my life. I want to hunger and thirst for You. I really need to be sure that I'm going to heaven, Lord. I want to be with You forever. Now I know the power and importance of fellowshipping. I need to my cell group members! I need them to encourage me. I need all of them! I really don't want to go back to my old life. I need to be renewed.

Lord, I'm really sorry I disappoint You many times. I love You but I'm scared to face You. I know You'll always waiting for me but I'm afraid to face You. I know there's nothing to be afraid of but I'm ashamed of myself. LORD, I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU. I WANT YOU. I NEED YOU. PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!

OMG. I saw his friend for the 2nd time and this time, I really saw how he looked. The first time I met him was 4 years ago and it was like, "Hi, Bye!" kind. But this time.. omg. I was with him for like, 30mins. OMG OMG OMG and he's damn good looking. For an hour I thought of how it is like having such a great looking boyfriend. He's really funny and is extrovert. BUT! He's always horny. LOL. From what I heard la ok.. HAHA! And just now, he was with his friend who is 15 years old ONLY! It was their first time to meet, my goodness! And the girl was like touching him all over. OMG. How flirt young girls can be right now?

HE'S SO GOOD LOOKING! URGH! I don't mind if he was my ex boyfriend. As long as he loved me. LOL! Me and my imaginations. OMG. He's tall, yummy body, great face, good sense of humour... Hmmmmm. I wish wish wish wish.. But no, he's a muslim. Boooooo! I don't care. My future boyfriend who will also be my future husband [Well, I'll make sure this upcoming relationship will be the last one. HEHE] has to have excellent sense of humour, has to be taller than me [that's easy! I'm very short] and need to be more mature than me, spiritually, emotionally, psychology, mentally. LOL. all the -ly la. Hehe.

Ok 'nough said.

I miss you.

Were you really looking out for her? Or was it the only way for you to...? I love and I mean L-O-V-E the way you looked at me today. It was like as if you were.... HAHA. I saw your eyes beeming with joy. Or was it? Am I dreaming? Is it just an illusion? I don't know but that was the very first time I saw you looking at me that way. Urgh! You make me wanna la la.. I MISS YOU la. It's been like a very very long time that I last felt this feeling. Booooooooooooo!

I met Larry today. Or is it going to be Uncle Larry? Haha. I don't know.

Oh, I just editted some of my photos. Lol. Here they are. They're also in my friendster. Hmmm..

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I don't know why my entry got deleted.

So here it is:

I felt very special to you. I still remember when we just got to know each other and how awkward it was when we're beside each other but we don't talk much. It seemed like you were scared to talk to me. Maybe because I was always ignoring you. I wanted so much to have a conversation with you but I just couldn't. I was the one who was afraid. Then one day, you told me that we have to build a friendship. But during that time, my feelings for you had faded away. You always asked me how I was, how my family was. Don't you have other questions to ask?

When you said you wanted a friendship, I knew you wanted to break that wall between us. I always thought of you. My mouth was filled with your name. And when you said that, I thought maybe you wanted to get to know more of me. I was not really happy. I mean, not as happy as I thought I'd be.

I just want to feel special. I still want to be the most special person in your life, after God. HAHA! Yes, I do. I told Marge [my aunt] that if ever you asked me.. I'd say yes that very minute. HAHA. Ok, I'm imagining things again.

I WANNA SLEEP NOW LA!

Oh please to all the people who knows who that person I'm talking about is, please don't tag who that person is! THANKS!!! And for all those who don't, don't ask me. (=

Here's more. LOL. Just upload it for fun though there's only one of me there. (=

Mark & Joyce



The birthday girl, Micah Debra. She's 13! WELCOME TO THE TEENAGE CLUB! I'm was still in.. (=



Joyce & Lucas

Here are some photo of the brand new E316. I just love them so much. Oh plus, thanks to Joyce for all urls of the photos. (= I tell you, I'm gonna use her photobucket for most of the urls of the photos of cg from now on. Hehe. Hope she uploads all the future photos. HEHE. HI JOYCE!!


The brand new E316.



Ghij doing her thing. Lol.



Cicil doesn't want to be seen diggin' in. Hehe



Ghij, j'S, Mark, Swee, Dave. HAHA Swee!!! Look at you! Hehehehehe.



Dig in!



Swee, Val, Micah, Karen, Jesric, me & Mark.

WHAT'S UP WITH ME? I hate this feeling. I know I have my reason but.. I just feel so bad.

I'm broken.

break /breɪk/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[breyk] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, broke or (Archaic) brake; bro·ken or (Archaic) broke; break·ing; noun
–verb (used with object)
1.
to smash, split, or divide into parts violently; reduce to pieces or fragments: He broke a vase.
2.
to infringe, ignore, or act contrary to (a law, rule, promise, etc.): She broke her promise.
3.
to dissolve or annul (often fol. by off): to break off friendly relations with another country.
4.
to fracture a bone of (some part of the body): He broke his leg.
5.
to lacerate; wound: to break the skin.
6.
to destroy or interrupt the regularity, uniformity, continuity, or arrangement of; interrupt: The bleating of a foghorn broke the silence. The troops broke formation.
7.
to put an end to; overcome; stop: His touchdown run broke the tie. She found it hard to break the cigarette habit.
8.
to discover the system, key, method, etc., for decoding or deciphering (a cryptogram), esp. by the methods of cryptanalysis.
9.
to remove a part from (a set or collection): She had to break the set to sell me the two red ones I wanted.
10.
to exchange for or divide into smaller units or components: She broke a dollar bill into change. The prism broke the light into all the colors of the rainbow.
11.
to make a way through; penetrate: The stone broke the surface of the water.
12.
Law.
a.
to open or force one's way into (a dwelling, store, etc.).
b.
to contest (a will) successfully by judicial action.
13.
to make one's way out of, esp. by force: to break jail.
14.
to better (a given score or record): He never broke 200 in bowling or 80 in golf.
15.
to disclose or divulge personally in speech or writing: He broke the good news to her at dinner.
16.
to solve: The police needed only a week to break that case.
17.
to rupture (a blood vessel): She almost broke a blood vessel from laughing so hard.
18.
to disable or destroy by or as if by shattering or crushing: to break a watch.
19.
to cause (a blister, boil, or the like) to burst, as by puncturing: She broke the blister with a needle.
20.
to ruin financially; make bankrupt: They threatened to break him if he didn't stop discounting their products.
21.
to overcome or wear down the spirit, strength, or resistance of; to cause to yield, esp. under pressure, torture, or the like: They broke him by the threat of blackmail.
22.
to dismiss or reduce in rank.
23.
to impair or weaken the power, effect, or intensity of: His arm broke the blow.
24.
to train to obedience; tame: to break a horse.
25.
to train away from a habit or practice (usually fol. by of).
26.
Electricity. to render (a circuit) incomplete; stop the flow of (a current).
27.
Journalism.
a.
to release (a story) for publication or airing on radio or television: They will break the story tomorrow.
b.
to continue (a story or article) on another page, esp. when the page is not the following one.
28.
Pool. to cause (racked billiard balls) to scatter by striking with the cue ball.
29.
Sports.
a.
(of a pitcher, bowler, etc.) to hurl (a ball) in such a way as to cause it to change direction after leaving the hand: He broke a curve over the plate for a strike.
b.
(in tennis and other racket games) to score frequently or win against (an opponent's serve).
30.
Nautical. to unfurl (a flag) suddenly by an easily released knot.
31.
to prove the falsity or show the lack of logic of: The FBI broke his alibi by proving he knew how to shoot a pistol.
32.
to begin or initiate (a plan or campaign), esp. with much publicity: They were going to break the sales campaign with a parade in April.
33.
to open the breech or action of (a shotgun, rifle, or revolver), as by snapping open the hinge between the barrel and the butt. –verb (used without object)
34.
to shatter, burst, or become broken; separate into parts or fragments, esp. suddenly and violently: The glass broke on the floor.
35.
to become suddenly discontinuous or interrupted; stop abruptly: She pulled too hard and the string broke.
36.
to become detached, separated, or disassociated (usually fol. by away, off, or from): The knob broke off in his hand.
37.
to become inoperative or to malfunction, as through wear or damage: The television set broke this afternoon.
38.
to begin suddenly or violently or change abruptly into something else: War broke over Europe.
39.
to begin uttering a sound or series of sounds or to be uttered suddenly: She broke into song. When they entered, a cheer broke from the audience.
40.
to express or start to express an emotion or mood: His face broke into a smile.
41.
to free oneself or escape suddenly, as from restraint or dependency (often fol. by away): He broke away from the arresting officer. She finally broke away from her parents and got an apartment of her own.
42.
to run or dash toward something suddenly (usually fol. by for): The pass receiver broke for the goal line.
43.
to force a way (usually fol. by in, into, or through): The hunters broke through the underbrush.
44.
to burst or rupture: A blood vessel broke in his nose. The blister broke when he pricked it.
45.
to interrupt or halt an activity (usually fol. by in, into, forth, or from): Don't break in on the conversation. Let's break for lunch.
46.
to appear or arrive suddenly (usually fol. by in, into, or out): A deer broke into the clearing. A rash broke out on her arm.
47.
to dawn: The day broke hot and sultry.
48.
to begin violently and suddenly: The storm broke.
49.
(of a storm, foul weather, etc.) to cease: The weather broke after a week, and we were able to sail for home.
50.
to part the surface of water, as a jumping fish or surfacing submarine.
51.
to give way or fail, as health, strength, or spirit; collapse: After years of hardship and worry, his health broke.
52.
to yield or submit to pressure, torture, or the like: He broke under questioning.
53.
(of the heart) to be overwhelmed with sorrow: Her heart broke when he told her that he no longer loved her.
54.
(of the voice or a musical instrument) to change harshly from one register or pitch to another: After his voice broke, he could no longer sing soprano parts.
55.
(of the voice) to cease, waver, or change tone abruptly, esp. from emotional strain: His voice broke when he mentioned her name.
56.
(of value or prices) to drop sharply and considerably.
57.
to disperse or collapse by colliding with something: The waves broke on the shore.
58.
to break dance.
59.
(of a horse in a harness race) to fail to keep to a trot or pace, as by starting to gallop.
60.
Botany. to mutate; sport.
61.
Linguistics. to undergo breaking.
62.
Billiards, Pool. to make a break; take the first turn in a game.
63.
Sports. (of a pitched or bowled ball) to change direction: The ball broke over the plate.
64.
Horse Racing, Track. to leave the starting point: The horses broke fast from the gate.
65.
Boxing. to step back or separate from a clinch: The fighters fell into a clinch and broke on the referee's order.
66.
to take place; occur.
67.
Journalism. to become known, published, or aired: The story broke in the morning papers.
68.
Horticulture. to produce flowers or leaves. –noun
69.
an act or instance of breaking; disruption or separation of parts; fracture; rupture: There was a break in the window.
70.
an opening made by breaking; gap: The break in the wall had not been repaired.
71.
a rush away from a place; an attempt to escape: a break for freedom.
72.
a sudden dash or rush, as toward something: When the rain lessened, I made a break for home.
73.
a suspension of or sudden rupture in friendly relations.
74.
an interruption of continuity; departure from or rupture with: Abstract painters made a break with the traditions of the past.
75.
an abrupt or marked change, as in sound or direction, or a brief pause: They noticed a curious break in his voice.
76.
Informal.
a.
an opportunity or stroke of fortune, esp. a lucky one.
b.
a chance to improve one's lot, esp. one unlooked for or undeserved.
77.
the breaks, Informal. the way things happen; fate: Sorry to hear about your bad luck, but I guess those are the breaks.
78.
a brief rest, as from work: The actors took a ten-minute break from rehearsal.
79.
Radio, Television. a brief, scheduled interruption of a program or broadcasting period for the announcement of advertising or station identification.
80.
Prosody. a pause or caesura.
81.
Jazz. a solo passage, usually of from 2 to 12 bars, during which the rest of the instruments are silent.
82.
Music. the point in the scale where the quality of voice of one register changes to that of another, as from chest to head.
83.
break dancing.
84.
a sharp and considerable drop in the prices of stock issues.
85.
Electricity. an opening or discontinuity in a circuit.
86.
Printing.
a.
one or more blank lines between two paragraphs.
b.
breaks. suspension points.
87.
the place, after a letter, where a word is or may be divided at the end of a line.
88.
a collapse of health, strength, or spirit; breakdown.
89.
Informal. an indiscreet or awkward remark or action; social blunder; faux pas.
90.
Billiards, Pool. a series of successful strokes; run.
91.
Pool. the opening play, in which the cue ball is shot to scatter the balls.
92.
Sports. a change in direction of a pitched or bowled ball.
93.
Horse Racing, Track. the start of a race.
94.
(in harness racing) an act or instance of a horse's changing from a trot or pace into a gallop or other step.
95.
Bowling. a failure to knock down all ten pins in a single frame.
96.
Boxing. an act or instance of stepping back or separating from a clinch: a clean break.
97.
any of several stages in the grinding of grain in which the bran is separated from the kernel.
98.
Botany. a sport.
99.
Journalism. the point at the bottom of a column where a printed story is carried over to another column or page.
100.
Nautical. the place at which a superstructure, deckhouse, or the like, rises from the main deck of a vessel.
101.
breaks, Physical Geography. an area dissected by small ravines and gullies.
102.
Mining. a fault or offset, as in a vein or bed of ore. —Verb phrases
103.
break away,
a.
to leave or escape, esp. suddenly or hurriedly.
b.
to sever connections or allegiance, as to tradition or a political group.
c.
to start prematurely: The horse broke away from the starting gate.
104.
break back, Tennis. to win a game served by an opponent immediately after the opponent has done so against one's own serve.
105.
break down,
a.
to become ineffective.
b.
to lose control; weaken: He broke down and wept at the sad news.
c.
to have a physical or mental collapse.
d.
to cease to function: The car broke down.
e.
to itemize: to break down a hotel bill into daily charges.
f.
Chemistry. to separate (a compound) into its constituent molecules.
g.
Electricity. (of an insulator) to fail, as when subjected to excessively high voltage, permitting a current to pass.
h.
to decompose.
i.
to analyze.
j.
to classify.
k.
to separate into constituent parts: to break down a beef carcass into basic cuts.
106.
break in,
a.
to enter by force or craft: Someone broke in and made off with all the furniture.
b.
to train or instruct; initiate: The boss is breaking in a new assistant.
c.
to begin to wear or use in order to make comfortable: These shoes haven't been broken in.
d.
to interrupt: He broke in with a ridiculous objection.
e.
to run (new machinery) initially under reduced load and speed, until any stiffness of motion has departed and all parts are ready to operate under normal service conditions; run in; wear in.
107.
break in on or upon, to enter with force upon or accidentally interrupt; intrude upon: The visitor opened the wrong door and broke in on a private conference.
108.
break into,
a.
to interpose; interrupt: He broke into the conversation at a crucial moment.
b.
to begin some activity.
c.
to be admitted into; enter, as a business or profession: It is difficult to break into the theater.
d.
to enter by force: They broke into the store and stole the safe.
109.
break off,
a.
to sever by breaking.
b.
to stop suddenly; discontinue: to break off a conversation; to break off relations with one's neighbors.
110.
break out,
a.
to begin abruptly; arise: An epidemic broke out.
b.
Pathology. (of certain diseases) to appear in eruptions.
c.
(of a person) to manifest a skin eruption.
d.
to prepare for use: to break out the parachutes.
e.
to take out of (storage, concealment, etc.) for consumption: to break out one's best wine.
f.
Nautical. to dislodge (the anchor) from the bottom.
g.
to escape; flee: He spent three years in prison before he broke out.
h.
to separate into categories or list specific items: to break out gift ideas according to price range; The report breaks out quarterly profits and losses.
111.
break up,
a.
to separate; scatter.
b.
to put an end to; discontinue.
c.
to divide or become divided into pieces.
d.
to dissolve.
e.
to disrupt; upset: Television commercials during a dramatic presentation break up the continuity of effect.
f.
(of a personal relationship) to end: to break up a friendship; Their marriage broke up last year.
g.
to end a personal relationship: Bob and Mary broke up last month.
h.
to be or cause to be overcome with laughter: The comedian told several jokes that broke up the audience.
112.
break with,
a.
to sever relations with; separate from: to break with one's family.
b.
to depart from; repudiate: to break with tradition. —Idioms
113.
break bulk, Nautical. to remove a cargo wholly or in part.
114.
break camp, to pack up tents and equipment and resume a journey or march: They broke camp at dawn and proceeded toward the mountains.
115.
break even, to finish a business transaction, period of gambling, series of games, etc., with no loss or gain: He played poker all night and broke even.
116.
break ground,
a.
to begin construction, esp. of a building or group of buildings: to break ground for a new housing development.
b.
Nautical. to free an anchor from the bottom; break out.
117.
break it down, Australian Slang.
a.
stop it; calm down.
b.
(used as an exclamation of disbelief) that can't be true!
118.
break one's heart. heart (def. 20).
119.
break service, Tennis. to win a game served by one's opponent.
120.
break sheer, Nautical. (of an anchored vessel) to drift into such a position as to risk fouling the anchor or anchor cable. Compare sheer2 (def. 6).
121.
break step. step (def. 37).
122.
break wind. wind1 (def. 26).
[Origin: bef. 900; ME breken, OE brecan; c. D breken, G brechen, Goth brikan; akin to L frangere; see fragile]

-dictionary.com, broken.

Once again, You touched my heart.

Help me with the things I'm going through, Lord. You have made so many promises, so much gift of life.. Reveal to me Your hidden manna everyday. Tell me what to do every minute, every second of my life. Guide me, protect me. I want to live by Your will and not mine. Teach me how to love others like how much You love me. I want to be like You, Jesus.

LORD, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER.

During the worship, I saw You carrying the cross. I saw Your whole body full of blood. I saw how You sacrificed Your life for me. I saw You suffering for me... I wept, I'm broken. I want to have a more intimate relationship with You. I want, need and must have YOU.

Lord, I'm so broken. BROKEN! I need You! I'm sorry I disappoint You.. )=

I love You.

It's YOU
You who have won my heart
Taken me into Your arms
Comforted like a friend
Your love surrounded me from the start
I never want to be apart
From You ever again

Yes, it's true Lord. I never want to be apart from You ever again. You won my heart Lord. I chose You. I need You more than anything in my life.

I wept when we sang this during the service. This is my song to You Lord. You know the burdens in my heart. I seem always so happy in the outside but You're the only one who truly knows how I feel inside of me. You know how much hurt, sad and confuse I am inside. You know the things I feel and how my relationship with You is falling apart. . .

I'm sorry for disappointing You, Lord. I'm really sorry...

I'm sorry, my Lord. I love You. I know I'm precious to You but I let You down. I'm really sorry.

Thank You for forgiving me, Lord. You're the BEST!

YO!

I'm so happy because I feel so normal. LOL. I'm having a bad stomach day. Haha. I'm having my period [first day] but after applying so much of tiger balm on my big tummy, I feel so much better. *claps*

I went to school for 1.5 hours! WOOOOOOT?? Yes, I did! Why? Because my class finish early and I think it's gonna be like that every week! YEY! It was so niiiicceeeeeee to see people going to school and me? going out of school! LOL.

Guess what?? I watched Spidermann 3 again! HAHAHA! We watched at Cathay at 1.15pm. I wanted to stay at home because of my tummy but I was so tempted to go out. So yea.. Hehe. We went to Vivo City and talked till 7pm coz he has to go to work tomorrow morning.

Who is he? He's my ex boyfriend aka best friend. Why? Cannot go out with him ah? I know I just said I love him in my previous entry but actually, I don't anymore. Errrrrr, what you talking about? Well, I was confuse that time but now, I'm not. We're BEST FRIENDS! So don't complain when you see me with him. We just talked about us just now. I asked him if we should still meet each other and he said yes. Why? Because he's confident that he'll not fall in love with me again, and even if he did, we can't be together. And for me? Yes, same. And as what I just said, we're best friends. Best friends should often meet each other. I'm sure I can still meet him and not fall in love with him. I know some people might think it's outrageous and ask how can like that one? Confirm you'll still kiss, hug, hold hands one!! Why you care? Best friends don't kiss and hug ah? Even friends do that la, ok? I know some people will not trust me. I know what I'm doing. If I'm out to hurt my heart, I won't meet him anymore to love him even more but I dare to meet him as much as I can because I know he'll never be mine forever and I'll not fall for him again. It's all in our minds already and we're also not dumb to love each other again then be hurt like mad again!

I already love someone can? I love Him so much that I'm so scared to lose Him. I'll never leave Him & He's my number one. Forever and ever. Till eternity. He's my everything. Who is He? He's my Lord, my Saviour, Christ Jesus. I love You, Lord. <3

Oh ya!! Something GREAT happened last night! I actually slept before 12mdnight!! OMG OMG OMG! I'm so proud of myself! Really. hehe.. YEY!

Oh and I'll be one of the 2 emcees for the Director’s List Award Presentation Ceremony. Hehe. So yey! I'll be taking the juniors. Sorry Kaye, I can't say your name loud loud la! I wish I can. Never mind. I'll bring a bell. I'll hit it when it's your turn. Hehe.. Lame-ness of me.

URGH! I can't decide if I really wanna join dramatec. Yes, I want to be in dramatec but the practice day! Every fri, from 6pm! Friday is like the earliest day I can get out of school and here.. the practice will be on fridays! I have to decide soon! Bluekz.

Oh, my song here is very the nice, huh? I love it! It's by Nelkris Kate. Opps, I mean Jojo. Lol. Title is 'weak'.

I get so weak in the knees
I can hardly speak, I lose all control
Then somethin' takes over me
In a daze, your love's so amazing
It's not a phase
I want you to stay with me, by my side
I swallow my pride
Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak

Lovely lovely song.

OH YA! SOMETHING REALLY EMBARRASSING HAPPENED TO ME AT 5AM IN THE MORNING! BUT I'M SHY TO BLURT IT OUT HERE and to anyone else. HEHE. My best friend knows about it and I think I'd better shut up.

Ok, I gottago now. My uncle, Victor, will be coming to my house! YEY! He works in Malaysia and he's going back to Philippines for vacation tomorrow. WOW!

On my way back home today, I wished I was in the Philippines. I miss my cousins, aunts, uncles, neigbours, my very few great friends and the warm people there. I miss my daily Filipino dishes. I miss everything about Philippines. I wish I could just stay there for a while. I always wonder what and how my life would be now if I stayed there during my teenage years. I wonder how my life would be if I didn't meet my friends here in Singapore. I wonder how it feels when most of my friends are the same race as me. I wonder how it feels to have a Filipino classmate in secondary school and poly life. My only great filipino friends that I met in the Philippines are: Barbie, Raleine, Kristen, Jessica and Hagia. See, 5 only but there's more la, hehe but not so close! They were my primary school classmates.Six of us would always hang out and there's one thing that we all loved and that's SAILOR MOON! Hahaha! I was Sailor Venus! Hehe. Ok, here I'll tell you who is who..


Barbie & Hagia: Sailor Moon
Kristen & I: Sailor Venus
Raleine: Sailor Mars
Jessica: Sailor Jupiter

HAHAHAHA! Now, I miss my girls!


That's US! Kristen, Raleine, Hagia, Me & Jessica. Barbie is not in. This was taken when I went back to the Philippines for a vacation on June 2005. I MISS PHILIPPINES!



Lord, I wanna go back to the

Philippines THIS YEAR!!

HEY HEY HEY!

I watched Spiderman 3 yesterday! YEY! It was good though we sat at the 2nd front row. James treated us to the movie. YEY! He's soooo sweet. Awwwwwww~! We were supposed to watch movie at Century Square. I called them like, 12mdnight, 1 May. The person said there were still 4 front row for the 10.35am show. So I was happy. I called again in the morning, 9am and they say it was already FULL! OMG! Went online to see the Bugis theather, I didn't mind though I know that cinema's seats are soooooo LOW and I'm soooooooooo NOT-tall. As long as my bros could watch, it was OK. BUT! we were left with the first front row. We already selected our seats.. BUT! James said he wanted to go with us. So, we had to go back. BUT! When we got to select the seats, TO OUR HORROR! The front rows were ALL taken already! OMG! Even in the internet got the 'battle of the fastest'! MADNESS! We went to Balestier to watch instead. And we got the 2nd row to the front. My brothers loved the movie. As for me, I'm gonna watch it again! YEY! And this time, I'll make sure I'll have a BETTER view.

Ohhhh, Peter Parker. He looks kinda fat now. The face! But still as cute as ever. Looks so boyish! And guess how old he is? Ok here, he was born on 27 June 1975. Sooo that makes him, 32 this year! GRRRRRRRRRRR! No no, not Peter Parker! Peter Parker is a freaking college student! And Tobey Maguire is 32 YEARS OLD with a daughter! OMG OMG OMG.

Sun had a concert in expo last night! Yipeee! She's as good as ever. I just wonder, why local Singaporeans don't appreciate her. I think she's good! She's famous in the US, Taiwan, China.. What about her lovely city? I don't understand what Singaporeans want. They say Singapore has no talent to boast about? Then why is she the only ASIAN! who got into top1 of Billboard? Doesn't that prove anything? I just don't understand why most Singapore dislike her. All I can say is, you guys are missing something great! If any Filipino singers gets into the top1 of Billboard, beating Madonna, Justin Timberlake, Beyonce & etc., the Filipinos will really support her/him like mad because he/she is one of the BEST in the world! I think Singaporeans should appreciate and SUPPORT their local talents. Especially those who are so exposed to the best in the world. Not just that OK band.. What's the name? Hmmmm.. Aiya I forgot la. Maybe coz they're not that good compared to Sun. So what if they're the "best" in Singapore? *yawns*

Moving on... Hehe. Last night we had FREE dinner! BUT! Madness!! The queue!! I was queueing for this omelette fried rice.. when it was my turn. THE UNCLE SAID IT WAS FINISH! I Qd FOR MORE THAN 30MINS!! URGH! Took a photo with my dear friends.. I'll post it up when they give the photo to us. Oh, after that I went to queue for the waffle. WAITED FOR LIKE 50MINS OR SO, ok. And there was this aunty who was cutting queue ok! I don't like people who cut queue. Makes my blood boil! I don't mind if the person in front of me has a friend who ask him/her to buy food for him/her. Coz I do that too sometimes. BUT THIS AUNTY CUT QUEUE OK! SHE REALLY WENT BESIDE ME! THEN WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE AFTER ME? WHAT ABOUT ME? SHE THINK SO EASY AH? There was this guy who was before me and I made sure he buy first because the woman who was supposedly before me, ordered first rather than he ordering first. THEN THIS FREAKING AUNTY WHO CUT QUEUE WANTED TO ORDER BEFORE ME! SHE WAS LIKE, "Eh, you buying 11 waffles ler. I buy only 4. Let me buy first la!" YOU THINK I CARE HOW MANY YOU BUYING? DON'T EVER TEST MY PATIENCE WHEN THE QUEUE IS ALREADY TESTING MY PATIENCE! Then I told her, "Oh, I'm also in a hurry, you know. My family is also waiting for me." Then the aunty who was selling asked, "Ok, who queue first? We go by the queue" Then of course, I said ME LA! She's damn irritating la! So what if she's older than me? That does give her the right to cut queue? Her daughter waiting for her, why not her daughter queue for her mom? Everyone also wanted to get out of that place and go home. Irritating kiasu people! Call me rude for telling her off but I won't ever apologise. Ok maybe I would for not respecting her. BUT DID SHE RESPECT ME? THE REST OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE QUEUEING? OLD PEOPLE MUST ALSO RESPECT YOUNGER PEOPLE OK! DON'T PUSH AROUND COZ YOU'RE OLDER THAN MANY PEOPLE! She's already blessed enough I really controlled my words that time. I just said those very brief words rather than my normal machine gun words. I'm a Christian human being. So, I get angry and really pissed but I must use the appropriate words when I talk. What would Jesus do? What would You do, Lord if you were in my shoes? Hmmmm..

I was really tempted not to go for APEL class today. I had severe migrane and I was really sleepy! I wanted to sleep and forget about going for class. I was really tempted. But I had to go to for it because Kaye [ok fine, I won't type your full name], LQ and I needed to discuss our CMSK4 mini project, if that's what you call that, during our 3 hours break. I was really unwell. During DBIS lab, I tried as hard as possible to follow MS NAMI[finally, I know her name. She's the Jap lecturer]. My head was spinning and my mind was blank. After class, I told Kaye that I wanted to go home and rest. I really wanted to go for DBIS lecture but I felt so weak. See la, first time I skip lecture this week. But at least, I had good reason. Unlike last time when it's because I was lazy and all. I called Ian to go with me to Eunos before I go home. I told him to meet my at the bus stop. My mom asked to pay my dad's and my phone bills. I asked Ian to accompany me because I was afraid I might just faint and no one would be there to carry my heavy body. Lol. No la, but I just wanted him to be there for me. I was really unwell. Felt like my whole world was spinning. Thanks Ian, I love you so much my dear brother. I slept for, I think, 3 hours. I feel so much better now. I have to fight this insomia. It made me so weak after 2 weeks. I didn't know it was thaaaaaaat serious. I think my body is still not used to 4-6 of sleep and I abused it. So, today it really freaked out and sang, "enough is enough.." Hehe. But I know, after some time, my body will be able to take 4-6hours of sleep already. Just like before. Yey!

Ok, I talk so much. I gottago now. I need to help my mom eat the food she cooked. LOL. She's already calling out my beautiful name.. Hehe. Muax to everyone!

I pray that I'll sleep tonight and not tomorrow morning. I tried so hard but I've not slept at night, yet. I've been sleeping in the morning. I pray and believe tonight is the night I'll sleep at night. Hey, don't think it's cool to have insomia. It will really make you very lethargic and your body, fatigue [which describes the inability to continue functioning at the level of one's normal abilities]. LOL. I got that '[...]' from wikipedia. HAHAHA! Ok here's more:

Peripheral Fatigue
Fatigue during physical work is considered an inability for the body to supply sufficient energy to the contracting muscles to meet the increased energy demand. This is the most common case of physical fatigue--affecting a national average of 72% of adults in the work force in 2002. This causes contractile dysfunction that is manifested in the eventual reduction or lack of ability of a single muscle or local group of muscles to do work. The insufficiency of energy, i.e. sub-optimal aerobic metabolism, generally results in the accumulation of lactic acid and other acidic anaerobic metabolic by-products in the muscle, causing the stereotypical burning sensation of local muscle fatigue.
-wikipedia, fatigue

Haha, that's lot of info. Hehe. Ok, I really gottago now.

I love You, Lord! Sorry for letting you down sometimes.